I don’t like the current calendar. 7 days a week? 28–31 days a month? Ugly. Disgusting. We can do better. If we are switching to a new calendar, though, it should have some familiarity, so this raises the question: what are the minimal changes we can make to the current calendar to make it a bit… nicer?

Step 1: Standardize the Month

Gone are the days of wondering how many days are in each month. The answer is now simple: it’s 30. This is nice because 30 is divisible by a lot of numbers. We can cut it into 2, 3, 5, 6, 10, and 15. Meanwhile, we don’t need to touch the number of months (12) because it’s also a number divisible by a lot of numbers (2, 3, 4, 6). This is arguably the only good part of the current calendar. The only problem we are left with now is that 30x12 days only adds up to 360, but there are 365 days in a year. So, where do the 5 extra days go?

Step 2: Introduce the Limbo Month

The extra days at the end of the year go into their own limbo month. This month is 5 days long (6 in leap years) and serves as a sort of cleanup month. With this being the case, it is custom to take this month off from work. Most people already take the period between Christmas and New Year’s off anyway, so this is pretty much just that. And just to make things a little nicer, we are moving Christmas to December 30th - the last day of the year (excluding the limbo month).

Step 3: The Four-Day Workweek

Now, time to tackle the week. 7 being a prime number is not nice to work with. Changing the week to be 6 days long means a week can be split into chunks of 2 or 3, and there will also be exactly 5 weeks per month. Which day of the week should we remove, though? I vote for Thursday, mainly because nothing really happens on Thursdays, and that way every day of the week can easily be represented by its starting letter: M T W F S S instead of M T W Th F S S (and yes, weeks start on Monday - whoever decided weeks should start on Sunday should be hanged on a cross). This means we can all finally live the dream of the 4-day workweek, although a little different from originally planned (no 3-day weekends…).

Step 4: Fixing the Holidays

Now that every date lands on the same day of the week each year, we can go about fixing the holidays. Christmas we already fixed, but all other holidays are being moved to the nearest Monday with a few exceptions:

Jan 01: New Year’s Day Feb 13: Family Day Apr 10: Good Friday Apr 13: Easter (this is the final date for Easter - no more bouncing around) May 20: Victoria Day July 01: Canada Day Aug 01: B.C. Day Sept 01: Labour Day Oct 01: National Day for Truth and Reconciliation Oct 13: Thanksgiving Day Nov 11: Remembrance Day (this one is not moving to keep it on 11/11, although you’ll end up getting the 13th off anyway since the 11th is a Saturday) Dec 30: Christmas Day (we already talked about this)

Step 5: Profit

You now have a perfect calendar. You’re welcome.

- Ahren